[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

be.
Dammit.
 Rachel?
 Uh-huh. She let out a windy sigh.  A change is definitely in order. I ll be
right back.
If he thought it odd that she didn t invite him into her hotel, never mind her
room, he didn t comment.  Where do you feel like going? he asked as she ascended
the stairs.
 Anywhere s fine.
 How about the Pancake Hut? They have the best pancakes you ve ever
tasted.
Pancakes. Didn t it just figure. Nodding weakly, she pushed through the
revolving door.
He was sitting on the curb when she returned, idly paging through a brochure
similar to one she d seen on Shawn s nightstand.  Hey.
 Hey. Ryan smiled as he rose, dusting off his snug, frayed jeans as casually as
if he hadn t been the guest of honor at an elite publishing soiree the night before.
76 Cari Quinn
His sly blue gaze skimmed over her yellow sundress, lingering on her legs a shade
longer than she liked.
Why, she didn t know. She was single. Totally free and unencumbered. And
yeah, Ryan might not have been the most reliable of men, but sometimes passing
time with Mr. Right Now was a dozen times more preferable than waiting for Mr.
Right.
 Feel like taking a spin?
She blinked.  Huh?
He gestured to a hulking chrome and black Harley parked a few slots away.
 That one s mine. I remember you used to like to ride. His grin didn t end with a
wink, but the implication hung between them regardless.
 You can t stand that I d stick by you, that I d want our child? That I wouldn t
ride my motorcycle off to the next woman while you cried yourself to sleep?
 God, stop it. She pressed her hands against both sides of her head and
squeezed. Anything to obliterate the sound of Shawn s voice ringing in her ears.
 Build the wall.
She dropped her hands as she realized Ryan was staring at her but tried to
cover her moment of lunacy with a breezy laugh.  I hear voices. They usually go
away if I tell them to.
His face relaxed into a smile, as if he were relieved she wasn t totally nutty.
 I m a writer, Rachel. He handed her a helmet, then helped her fasten the chin
strap.  I know all about voices, believe me.
She climbed on and linked her arms around Ryan s lean torso, waiting
expectantly for the gush of excitement she d once felt at being this close to him. God
knew being on a bike with a scrumptious guy in a beat-up leather jacket and tight
jeans was a recipe for a little heat. But while he still took corners too fast and made
her shriek with laughter, as far as anything else& nada. She had a sinking
suspicion he could ve been buck-ass naked and she wouldn t have felt a glimmer
more.
By the time they reached the Pancake Hut, her spirits had marginally
improved. It was damned hard to feel miserable on a fabulously sunny New York
day, especially after a motorcycle ride. Or so she thought until she rediscovered
Ryan wasn t only about as dependable as a broken watch, he still had an
unsurpassed ability to listen.
 It s just too damn complicated, she said through bites of cherry-flecked
waffle.  If we get together, there s no changing our minds. There re no do-overs. Our
families will never let us forget. Can you imagine how they d react if we split? I
can t handle the possibility our friendship will suffer either. Maybe I m just not the
type to settle down. What if I break his heart?
Her waffle lodged in her throat as she heard herself. Didn t you do that
already?
 Shouldn t you let him worry about that?
Insatiable 77
 I can t. I won t risk what we have for something that s just so preposterous, so
insanely wild that I can t even talk about it.
Ryan smiled.  You are talking about it, Rach.
She sighed.  Yeah, guess I am.
Somehow it didn t feel strange to be discussing her love life with her ex. Then
again, she d just had killer sex three times with her best friend. Obviously her
boundaries needed some work.
 I hear you, he said after a moment as he dumped syrup on his second stack of
pancakes. How had she managed to hook up with two guys with a fetish for
blueberry pancakes?  Do I ever. Relationships are messy.
 I m not even thirty. I don t want my life all sketched out, so I can color within
the lines my parents and Shawn s have drawn. You know?
 You forget I had a few run-ins with your family myself back in the day. Ryan
gave her a wry grin as he shook back his shaggy walnut brown hair.  Lee and Alexis
just adored me.
 They sure did. Hadn t that been a big part of his appeal?  But you did pretty
damn well for yourself, Mr. Big Shot Author.
 I did. But that s only because I didn t let anything veer me off course. He set
down his fork and angled his jaw.  I ll admit I ve thought about us. What might
have been different if I d hung around. Or if you d come with me.
Rachel gazed at her plate and the waffles she d barely touched.  Yeah, she
agreed quietly, but her thoughts weren t of them.
They were for her baby, the one she d lost on a hot summer night mere weeks
after she d learned she was pregnant. She d never felt more alone than in the hours
she d lain in that sterile white hospital room, helpless to do anything while her
baby s chance at life slipped away.
Even then, Shawn had been with her. She remembered his tight grip on her
hand and the way he d pressed his forehead against her cheek. She could still hear
his hoarse voice as he told her how much he loved her, how strong she was, that she [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]