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Kids experiencing anger during grief may find all kinds of creative
ways to express themselves. They may act angry with you, even if it
isn t your fault. They may pick fights with each other or even fight
with their friends. Some may even break or destroy things that are
dear to them.
Sometimes children make strange deals in the name of grief. Pay
attention to bizarre behavior like cleaning their room several times a
day, or over-politeness and excessive helpfulness. Sometimes kids
make bargains related to their behavior, somehow believing that if
they just  behave then the situation will change.
Depression can also take many forms in children. Some kids will
simply act withdrawn or quiet. Some will watch a lot of television or
read. Some kids may eat more, while others may have a low appetite.
Watch for any prolonged behavior changes.
Acceptance is the time when the child adjusts to the change or the
loss. This is the time to support your child in creating a new life,
incorporating whatever changes have transpired.
I do not believe in suffering. Yes, there is a full spectrum of human
emotions and we all go through them as we journey through life.
Sadness is inevitable. Suffering is not.
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Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
For this reason, I strongly encourage people to begin tapping on their
grief as soon as possible. I know a lot of people think that it is wrong
to sail through grief. Using EFT won t take away the fact that
someone you loved dearly is gone, or that you lost your job that you
worked at for twenty years. EFT simply takes the suffering out of the
loss and allows you to celebrate the blessing of the life of the person
who is gone, or of the new career opportunity. EFT greatly speeds up
the adjustment to loss and shortens the grief cycle.
Do you really think a person who is gone wants us to suffer for two or
more years in their name? Would you want your loved ones to suffer
in grief for years if you were to die? I wouldn t.
Here are some setups to use for grief. Please modify them as needed
to fit your particular situation.
Even though I can t believe Grandma is gone&
Even though I can t believe I got laid off&
Even though I can t believe my parents are going to move me to
California&
Even though I can t believe my cat is dead&
Even though I feel angry that Grandma is dead&
Even though I am so angry that they fired me&
Even though I am so angry with my Dad for putting work ahead of
me&
Even though I feel angry that that stupid man ran over my cat&
Even though I wish there were something I could do to bring
Grandma back&
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Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
Even though I am profoundly sad that Grandma is dead&
Even though I feel so sad about leaving my friend&
Even though I feel sad that I lost my job&
Even though I feel so sad that my cat is dead&
Even though I feel sad that Grandma suffered so much&
Even though I feel sad that it hurt my cat to get killed by a car&
Even though I am so sad that all I want to do is watch TV&
Even though I am so sad that all I want to do is hide in my room&
Even though my sadness makes me tired&
Even though my sadness makes me mad&
Even though I miss my Dad&
Even though I miss my Mom&
Even though I don t know who I am without this person/thing&
Even though I don t know how to go one without this
person/thing&
Even though I have this gap in my life now&
One of my favorite techniques to use when you are grieving over a
person is to place a photo of the person in a prominent spot in your
house and tap while looking at the photo. Pay attention to thoughts
and feelings that come up for you when you look at the person and tap
on anything that feels right.
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Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
Of course, major life changes and the death of a loved will take time
to get over. Use EFT to assist you through it!
EFT and Body Image
Okay,  fess up! How often do you stand in front of the mirror and just
love and honor your body?
How often do you scrutinize every detail of your physical form and
pay attention to all the  defects ?
I have always carefully limited my daughters exposure to mass media
concepts concerning beauty. I did not want their images of
themselves and their own beauty to become warped by what the mass
media tells us is beautiful
.
In spite of my care in limiting media exposure, one day I overheard
my oldest daughter talking about how  fat she was and how she was
 big . At first I didn t understand where she was getting these ideas
until I realized that she was standing in the mirror critiquing her body
just like I do. Once again, I learned the hard way that I must model
the behavior that I want my children to adopt.
I ll be honest with you. My body was physically designed to pick
potatoes. I come from strong peasant stock and I would do very well
standing in a field, bent over and pulling things out of the ground. I
am dark-haired (well, okay, with a little help from L Oreal), have an
olive complexion with lots of freckles and laugh lines. I have had
way too much sun in my life, birthed four babies and breastfed for
over 11 years! I am not Cover Girl material.
My daughters have witnessed me many times lamenting at the
varicose veins and cellulite on my thighs. They have heard me ask
my husband numerous times,  Am I fat? and,  Does this dress make
me look fat? So why should it be a surprise that they have started to
evaluate themselves the same way that I do?
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Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
If we want our daughters to love and honor our bodies, then we must
do the same ourselves! Our bodies are strong and powerful! We have
created, carried, birthed, and breastfed babies. We have run after
toddlers, snatching their bodies from behind moving cars in parking
lots while surviving beatings by protesting two-year-olds. We awake
at dawn, retire sometime after midnight, and still we go on! We are
amazing! And yet we devastate ourselves because our thighs are
dimpled and our breasts aren t perky any more.
I encourage you to use EFT on every little part of your body that you
feel unhappy about until you can lovingly look at yourself in the
mirror! Learn to love your thighs right now! Try these setups!
(Warning: We carry a lot of painful memories and associations on
our bodies. Don t be surprised if tapping about your body brings up a
lot of interesting issues and memories.)
Even though I hate my (name of body part), I deeply and completely
love and accept myself!
Even though I think I m fat&
Even though I hate that I never lost my  baby fat &
Even though my body has never been the same since I had babies& [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]