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hadn t wanted to ruffle Jackie s feathers when the blow-up had happened so soon after
they found out she had a bad heart.  Diane always loved that rickety old ranch where
we grew up. She and Mom never got along she was Dad s girl. She was never close
with me, either. I guess the age difference was too much for us to have been pals.
Besides, I took a real dislike to Frank Granger after they got married and he moved in.
But I was wrong. I should have kept up with her and her son. Dylan s going to be in
ninth grade next year.
Tina reached over, took his hand, a gesture of comfort, understanding.  I m sure
you ve been busy with your own family and career.
 You don t have to make excuses for me. I ve made plenty for myself, that one
included. But I could have made time for my own kin. Another flaw to lay at Jackie s
feet. She d wanted the college football hero, figuring he d grow up and become her
father s lackey. But she d made it clear almost from the beginning of their marriage that
she hadn t wanted any part of Hedgecock, Texas, or his  countrified relatives.
That was wrong, laying blame on his dead wife when most of it belonged to him.
He could have made time to keep in contact with his sister and ignored Jackie s feelings
about that, just as he d managed to flout her distaste for him playing football. Who
knew? She might have taken to his relatives, understood him better if he d shown her
where he d come from. But he d been afraid she d laugh at his humble beginnings,
comparing the rundown ranch where he d grown up with her parents Skokie mansion.
Now he d never know. He took Tina s hand, hoped she d understand and cut him the
slack he probably didn t deserve.  I m ashamed of myself.
 You shouldn t be. From all I read online and in the papers, you do all sorts of good
things for kids here in Memphis.
Keith couldn t help laughing.  I write checks to the foundation Jackie set up in my
name. And I do a football camp every summer for underprivileged teenagers. I could
have made it a point to send some of the goodness home but I didn t. Jackie wanted us
to live year-round in this house, and she liked choosing the charities the foundation
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Ann Jacobs
supported. I haven t even checked up on what s been going on there since she died. It
was past time he looked into the charity that bore his name, maybe diverted some funds
to help folks back in Hedgecock. Keith sighed.
When Tina met his gaze with tears glistening in her eyes, he realized how generous
she was, worrying about how he felt.  She was so beautiful. You must miss her
terribly.
 Not as much as I probably should. He traced his thumb along the smooth skin on
the backside of her wrist.  I can t help wondering if you re thinking of her as an angel, a
dutiful wife who gave her life to provide her selfish husband with a son.
 I could never think of you as selfish, Keith.
 I am in lots of ways. I want to continue playing ball as long as it s fun and
profitable. I want Jack to grow up happy and healthy. I want to live life my way, with a
partner who s everything Jackie wasn t.
Tina was confused.  What wasn t she?
Keith leaned his elbows on the table, propped his head on his hands.  Jackie was
the most self-centered woman I ever knew. She hated me playing pro ball and did
everything she could to make me act civilized enough to move in what she called
decent society. He paused, met her gaze.  That s not to say I didn t love her, because I
did. At first I was dazzled by her looks, by the fact she seemed crazy about me and
probably a little bit by the fact she had a shiny black Porsche convertible that was the
envy of the entire Northwestern football team. Our first years together when we were in
college were damn good. Then, when I refused to go into business with her dad, she
was furious. We fought about that for months until we finally agreed to disagree about
my career.
 The only thing she wanted from me besides to run my foundation was a baby, and
I was willing to cooperate. For several years we tried, but nothing happened. Finally a
fertility specialist suggested in vitro fertilization, and she got pregnant only to lose the
baby in her fifth month. That was five years ago, when we found out she had the
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serious heart condition that nearly killed her. The doctors told us that if she got
pregnant again she d be risking her life.
 Oh no. I m so sorry.
 So am I. Even though I was against it, she insisted on trying again. Wouldn t even
consider adoption. Almost two years ago she found a specialist who thought that with
some new drug, she might be able to have her baby after all. She talked me into trying
IVF one more time, against my better judgment.
 And& 
 She got pregnant with Jack. Everything went pretty well until about the seventh [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]