[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

on things. Max wouldn t hover over me the way Nathan would.But then again&
 I don t know. I have to think about it. I worried what Nathan would do
alone, if the Soul Eater tried another spell. I also had no clue where Nathan
would go. It wasn t as if he could stay in town, whether the Soul Eater was
just toying with him or not. Plus, I didn t want to screw up any romantic
plans Bella and Max might have.  And you ll want to ask Bella, of course.
 I don t think Bella is going to be a problem. We re probably not going to
see each other again after this. His tone was light, but I could tell from
the way his smile faltered he would be bothered by losing her.
 I m sorry. I didn t have enough energy to come up with a better comfort for
him.  Maybe it will be fun, then. Two rejected vampires, living it up in the
big city.
 There are some awesome blues clubs, he said, gently wheedling.
 I don t want to leave Nathan behind. I m worried about him. I paused, the
stupid hope swelling up beneath my ribs.  Let me talk to him. See if we can t
work it all out.
 It s an open invitation, Max said, turning his eyes back to the road.  It s
a big place. I m always glad to have company. Makes it seem less empty.
 That s not why you don t go back often. I studied the way his expression
changed from friendly to defensive.  You lived there with your sire.
He nodded.  It s a funny thing, when you ve got a blood tie with someone and
it suddenly goes away. Things you d never thought would bother you
really& hurt.
 I know. I laughed bitterly.  Believe me. I know.
Bella returned to the apartment later that morning. Nathan was asleep, so
when she asked if she should let Cyrus come up, I told her it would be all
right.
We sat across from each other at the kitchen table while he stared bleakly at
the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I d made for him. His eyes were still
ringed with ugly, purple bruises, but the blood had been washed from his face.
Small lines of stitches stood out against his pale skin at his hairline and
chin. His lips were swollen and split, and he winced when he tried to drink
the soda I offered him.
 What were you thinking? I didn t mean to sound so angry, but he d
frightened me. I remembered all the times my mother, upon reclaiming me from a
department store security guard or the yard of a playmate she wasn t
acquainted with, would grip my arms and sternly admonish that I d scared her
to death. When we d discovered Cyrus missing, I finally understood what she d
been feeling.
He didn t look up.  I don t know. I wanted to die. But when I got there, and
Page 212
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
my father s guards& When they were beating me, I realized I didn t want to die.
I fought them so hard. But when I got away, it was back.This pain. I don t
know what it is, Carrie. It makes me want to die. But when I get close& Why
does this hurt so much?
 It s guilt. It s supposed to hurt.
I looked up sharply. Nathan stood at the kitchen door, his eyes hard and his
face lined with fatigue. Below the sleeves of his T-shirt I saw the dark lines
of scabbed-over sigils.
I didn t know what to do. If Nathan went after Cyrus now, there was no way
I d be able to intervene. Nathan was too strong and a way better fighter than
me. Besides, I hadn t been able to make myself fight him when he d been
pinning me to the floor in the bookshop.
Cyrus s posture straightened a little, but no discernable emotions crossed
his face. Nolen.
Nathan s gaze met mine, but there was no clue in his eyes as to what he would
do.  Run into your father?
Shaking his head, Cyrus lifted the soda can to his mouth. His goons.
 I can t say I m not sorry you didn t get killed. Nathan leaned against the
doorframe, frowning down at him.
Cyrus swallowed and wiped his mouth.  I can understand that.
Nathan pushed off the wall and came to stand in front of us.  What, no snide
comment? You re not going to lord your intellectual superiority over me?
 Stop it, I warned.
 Let him. Cyrus sighed, weary and resigned. Nathan opened his mouth, but no
words came out. Looking up at him, Cyrus smiled sadly.  It s my gift to you,
Nolen. Spew whatever bile you need to.
 Why? So you can feel better about what you did to Marianne? His voice
choked with emotion and tears, I could barely understand Nathan s words.  What
you did to me?
 I was sick. Cyrus wasn t apologizing, but he wasn t justifying, either.  I
did far worseto many others.
 LikeZiggy ? Nathan laughed bitterly.  I could rip you to pieces right now.
 I wish you would. It would be much easier for me. Cyrus rested his forehead
on the table and covered the back of his head with his hands.
Nathan s own hands clenched to fists at his sides. He looked at me, his eyes
rimmed red and teary, then back at Cyrus. He cleared his throat and scrubbed a
hand over his face.  I m not here to make things easier for you. And I m not
going to forgive you. I want you to remember all the fucked up things you ve
done. I want them to torment you at night. But do me a favor.
Lifting his head, Cyrus met Nathan s eyes.  What?
 If you ever feel like committing suicide again, let me do the honors.
Nathan turned around and left the kitchen without a word to me.
Page 213
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
Cyrus and I sat in stunned silence for a long time. Nathan hadn t forgiven [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]